A TikTok creator has ignited a significant conversation about the dynamics of modern female friendships, particularly the perceived imbalance between married and single women. On November 4, 2023, Ashanti, a 36-year-old advocate for single women, shared her perspective in a video that resonated with many who identify as single.
In her video, which has garnered nearly 280,000 views, Ashanti argued that married women often receive unwavering support from their single friends during life events such as weddings and baby showers. However, she contends that these same friends frequently neglect to reciprocate that support for single women’s achievements, such as career advancements or personal milestones. She stated, “Rarely, if ever, do married women really allocate time and investment into their single friends’ life events.”
Ashanti’s comments struck a chord with many single women on TikTok, who expressed feelings of neglect and frustration regarding their friendships with married peers. One user commented, “Single and child-free women have to sacrifice for the community, but the community never gives back.” This sentiment reflects a growing awareness among single women that their contributions to friendships may not be equally valued.
The creator elaborated on the expectations placed upon single women, highlighting how they often serve as emotional support for their married friends, sometimes acting as surrogate partners or therapists. She noted that married women, who may feel overwhelmed with family responsibilities, often fail to provide the same level of emotional investment in return. “Quite frankly, there’s too many excuses being made—that they’re so occupied, so busy…” she remarked.
In her call for recognition, Ashanti emphasized that single women should not be viewed as “disposable accessories.” She asserted, “Just because we might not be married, or occupied with motherhood necessarily—it doesn’t mean we’ve got endless free time whereby you can pick and choose if you want to call.”
The video sparked a wave of comments, with many women sharing their own experiences of feeling sidelined or undervalued in friendships after their friends transitioned into marriage and motherhood. One user noted, “I’m 1000% the emotional support for my married friends because their husbands can’t support them in that way.” Another added, “It’s like they think ‘single’ means nothing ever happens in our life and we’re just sitting around doing nothing.”
As the conversation continued to unfold, more comments highlighted the emotional labor often shouldered by single women. “They will abandon you at every turn for that man and expect you to pick up the pieces when they finally wake up & divorce him,” another user expressed, capturing the frustration felt by many.
While Ashanti did not immediately respond to a request for comment from the Daily Dot, her video serves as a catalyst for a broader discussion about the expectations and realities of female friendships in contemporary society.
This dynamic raises important questions about the nature of support and reciprocity in friendships, particularly as women navigate various life stages. As the dialogue continues, it is clear that many single women are seeking validation and recognition in their relationships, advocating for a more balanced approach to friendship that honors their achievements and contributions.
As social media platforms like TikTok amplify these conversations, the impact on societal views regarding friendship dynamics may evolve, encouraging deeper reflection on how women can support one another across different life paths.
