Death Doulas Offer Compassionate Support for Families in Fargo

In Fargo, the role of death doulas is gaining recognition as a vital support system for families navigating the end-of-life journey. These compassionate individuals, such as Gail Christopher, provide emotional and practical assistance to the dying and their loved ones, focusing on comfort and dignity rather than medical care.

Christopher, who has a 49-year career in nursing, found her calling as a death doula after witnessing the profound experiences of individuals nearing the end of life. Her journey began in a nursing home where a dying priest sought her guidance about what to expect in his final moments. “We can read all the books we want. Life is still life and we are still human,” she recalls, emphasizing the universal fear and uncertainty surrounding death. This conversation inspired her to pursue formal training, leading her to graduate from the Conscious Dying Institute in Boulder, Colorado, in 2019.

The role of a death doula is distinct from that of hospice workers. While hospice professionals focus on medical care, doulas prioritize the overall well-being of both the individual and their family. They assist with tasks such as creating advance care directives, planning legacy projects, and providing grief support. Their presence can help families communicate openly about end-of-life wishes, which is crucial given that family members sometimes override the wishes outlined in advance directives.

The popularity of death doulas has surged in recent years, partly due to movements like the one led by Caitlin Doughty, a millennial mortician advocating for open discussions about mortality. This “Death Positive Movement” seeks to normalize conversations around death, encouraging people to embrace it as a natural part of life. Christopher reflects, “How do we start educating that there is something beyond death that can be very beautiful?”

Nevertheless, Christopher acknowledges that integrating doulas into the existing healthcare framework can be challenging. “It’s hard to work in a city where doulas are not a well-known thing yet,” she notes. Despite the hurdles, her commitment to providing support remains steadfast, particularly in advocating for healthcare rights and education for families.

Another local death doula, Mantha Josophia, offers a unique perspective. After the birth of her first child in 2017, Josophia explored her beliefs about life and death, leading her to pursue training as a death doula. “It just felt sparkly when we all met,” she says, referring to her collaboration with other aspiring doulas in the area. Together, they formed Sacred Passage Death Doula Services, aiming to fill the gaps in existing end-of-life services.

Josophia, along with fellow doulas Angie Schulz and Audrey Heilman, emphasizes the importance of honoring individual wishes in the dying process. Schulz, who has a background in funeral services, believes that doulas can help people articulate their life stories and legacies, making the end-of-life experience more meaningful. “Doulas are gatherers of life stories and legacy projects,” she explains.

Heilman, a licensed massage therapist, incorporates her skills to provide comfort during this sensitive time. “It’s such a scary, confusing time for not just the person dying, but their family as well,” she notes, highlighting the emotional complexities involved.

In their efforts to promote discussions surrounding death and grief, the Sacred Passage doulas host community events, such as the upcoming Death Cafe scheduled for October 19, 2023. This informal gathering provides a space for individuals to share their thoughts and feelings about mortality, allowing for healing through conversation. “Grief can also arise from other layers of life that aren’t literal deaths as well,” Josophia adds, recognizing the broader implications of loss.

As the movement for death doulas continues to grow, these professionals are carving out a significant role in the end-of-life care landscape. They provide a much-needed resource for families seeking guidance and support during one of life’s most challenging transitions. For more information about Sacred Passage Death Doula Services, interested individuals can reach out via email at [email protected] or contact Gail Christopher at [email protected].