Social media dynamics can complicate friendships, as illustrated by a recent query directed to advice columnist Eric Thomas. A woman, identifying herself as a friend in a close-knit group, expressed feelings of exclusion due to a friend’s lack of engagement with her posts on Facebook. This situation has left her feeling uncomfortable and unsure about the nature of their friendship.
The woman has been part of a group of women living in a 55+ community for four years, regularly participating in social outings. However, she noted that in recent months, her friend has failed to comment on or “like” any of her Facebook posts, including her birthday tribute. Despite their ongoing friendships and shared activities, the lack of online acknowledgment has led her to question their bond.
Eric Thomas addressed her concerns by highlighting the complexities of social media interactions. He emphasized that platforms like Facebook can amplify feelings of neglect, especially when algorithms may not display every post to every friend. He suggested that the friend’s behavior might not reflect a lack of care but rather a simple oversight due to the tailored nature of social media feeds.
He encouraged the woman to focus on their real-life interactions, which remain positive, and to communicate directly with her friend about her feelings without referencing their online exchanges.
In another segment, a reader shared her struggles with the pressures of holiday gift-giving. This woman, who has been divorced for two years, expressed her discomfort with the seasonal expectations of exchanging gifts. She articulated her desire to provide a joyful Christmas for her two children, aged 21 and 16, but felt overwhelmed by the financial and emotional strain of traditional gift exchanges.
Thomas empathized with her situation, noting that the essence of gift-giving should be about mutual enjoyment rather than obligation. He suggested that she could communicate her feelings candidly to family and friends, framing her request as a shift in her relationship with gifts rather than a rejection of their generosity.
He proposed two potential ways to express her wishes: she could inform her loved ones that her approach to gifts has evolved and that she would prefer no gifts this year, or she could suggest that they contribute to a charity instead. This would allow her to maintain the spirit of giving in a way that aligns with her current values.
Ultimately, both inquiries reveal the impact of social media on personal relationships and the challenges of navigating holiday traditions in a way that feels authentic and fulfilling. By fostering open communication, individuals can mitigate misunderstandings and maintain meaningful connections.
Readers seeking advice can reach out to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or through his newsletter.
