A father has sparked widespread criticism after revealing he struggles to spend more than ten minutes a day with his children. Justin Murphy, a writer and creative director, shared his feelings on X, questioning whether he is a “monster” for feeling overwhelmed by parental responsibilities. His post has since ignited a heated debate about parenting norms and expectations.
In his original post, Murphy expressed discomfort with being around kids, stating, “The truth is I just don’t like being around kids for very long.” He added that even though he lives a “picturesque” lifestyle, he feels his patience waning after spending brief periods with his four-year-old son. According to Murphy, the ideal amount of time he wants to spend engaging with his children is around 70 to 140 minutes per week, which breaks down to approximately ten minutes a day. He admitted, “If I have to watch them or entertain them for more than about 10 minutes, my blood starts to boil.”
Despite feeling guilt and anxiety, Murphy sought validation for his feelings, asking followers whether it is acceptable to feel this way. Many users on X were quick to voice their disapproval, emphasizing that it is not typical for a parent to want so little engagement with their children.
Backlash and Double Standards
The reactions to Murphy’s post were swift and pointed. Users highlighted a double standard in parenting expectations, with many questioning why a father could express such sentiments without facing the same scrutiny a mother might receive for similar statements. One user, under the handle @CatholicCharm, noted, “Imagine if a mom said this??”
Comments varied from empathetic to harshly critical. A user known as @webdevMason pointed out that the backlash against mothers for taking a break from parenting often contrasts sharply with the leniency fathers receive when expressing frustration. He remarked, “It is at least a little radicalizing watching a mom get lambasted for letting her baby have a rough night with dad on duty so she can get some sleep, and then a dad gets the soft touch when he says his blood boils if he spends >10 minutes with his children.”
Another commentator, @SWENGDAD, bluntly stated, “Yes, you’re a terrible person,” further emphasizing the notion that Murphy’s feelings reflect a larger societal issue regarding male parenting roles.
Reflections and Realizations
Following the intense backlash, Murphy attempted to address the criticism by sharing a post that acknowledged some of the feedback as “fair” and “illuminating.” He organized the responses into three key takeaways: he may have a “dopamine issue” and a “phone problem,” he should prioritize spending time with his family, and he expressed concern that it is “unmanly” to focus on his own feelings.
Despite his acknowledgment of the backlash, Murphy’s comments about seeking validation through social media rather than traditional therapy raised eyebrows. He stated, “Many say I need a therapist but in fact this is obviously way better than a therapist.” This perspective led to further criticism, with observers noting that the willingness to engage with online feedback does not replace the need for professional help.
As the discussion around Murphy’s post continues to evolve, it raises critical questions about the expectations placed on fathers in modern parenting. The contrast in reactions between fathers and mothers highlights ongoing societal debates regarding gender roles, parenting responsibilities, and the emotional well-being of parents.
The internet remains a tumultuous space for personal reflections, often leading to unexpected scrutiny and debate. As of now, Murphy has not released any additional comments beyond his initial reflections on the feedback he received.
